Internalized racism and dating

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I was already busy navigating what it meant to actually be in a relationship, and suddenly, I was also assigned to represent Asia (like the whole freaking continent).The pressure to be both an ambassador for my ethnic group and a “normal” (read: white) teenager was suffocating me.Maybe subconsciously, this particular black man, with his impressive résumé, attracted me because I thought that he would allow me the same access as a white suitor.Growing up poor in Louisiana, access and privilege seemed to be mutually inclusive. But when you're a child, you don't have the language or the understanding to comprehend what you do and don't have, and you definitely don't understand why.After my last Huffington Post piece, "Black, Gay, and Suspicious?" I received several humbling requests from people who wanted to read a follow-up elaborating more on the subject of my internalized racism and the way it had potentially shaped my dating choices.

Huang expresses dismay at the racism directed toward Asian Americans in the queer community online and in urban areas.And if we’re also not Black, we likely engage in anti-Blackness.Because we live in a white supremacist world, we’ve all internalized white supremacy to some degree.Do I not speak up, or do I become the blushing geisha?Ugh, my heart is racing just remembering those feelings.

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